The art of not being an ungrateful prick.
This post was inspired by an honours blazer- one I spent many nights dreaming about and many hours working for. And I sure as hell do deserve it because I worked my ass off to get it… the only problem is that it doesn’t feel so great now that I have it. Now I spent days wondering why on earth wasn’t I over the moon about this achievement it was what I worked for most of my high school career- and yes it felt great to have my hard work recognized. However I couldn’t shake the feeling of kinda being disappointed, I’m not too sure what I expected from this blazer or why it was supposed to dramatically make me feel like a million bucks.
I’ve been listening to Jess Lively’s podcasts and damn has she really changed the game for me. She has been the only one who has been able to perfectly describe the way I’m feeling and why. Her reasoning for why people feel like they must always achieve more and always do better and why they’re not always satisfied with what they have is because once you’ve broken through what you believed to be the ceiling then it becomes the floor. Of course this doesn’t apply to everyone but it does to most. What she meant is that once you’ve achieved something it becomes your new starting point and you suddenly have a new ceiling that you want to break through and receive more achievements as you do so.
This gave me a sense of momentary relief- thank god I wasn’t alone in feeling this way however the feeling of disappointment returned soon after. It wasn’t disappointment with my achievements but rather with myself and society. Why is what we have never enough to make us happy? When will we stop looking for better and just be happy with what we have and all we’ve achieved this far? As human beings we’ve all done some pretty amazing stuff and yet we never seem to be satisfied- isn’t that so damn greedy?
I was left wondering how on earth do we change this about ourselves? This feeling of being unsatisfied and restless until we achieve our next set of goals. I once had a hamster who would run on his little wheel for a long time thinking he was going places and I wondered why would this creature return to this running wheel knowing that it’s futile? But then shouldn’t we ask ourselves this same question? What’s this rat race for? Why are we so competitive and who are we competing against? Why is momentary complacency a bad thing? We can’t even enjoy our success because it’s always on to the next big thing…
I don’t know when everyone else plans on slowing down but I plan on doing it today. The ceilings I broke through and my achievements will no longer be the floor on which I step on to reach my next big aspiration. I believe in a way of achieving your life goals and still being proud of the distance you’ve traveled thus far.
All my love,